Wandering around in the labyrint

It's like a labyrinth.  I can't seem to find the right way, even though it feels like I've tried every way I can find.
I think some help would be fantastic. A little whisper in the dark,  who told me which way it is.
A hand who holds me, no matter what, and leads me through the hard and confusing times.

I know it's probably not the easiest thing to stay up and be my guardian angel. I know it can be hard to make me understand what choices it's the best for me. But still... I still need an guardian Angel who whisper where I'm supposed to go. Strong hands to keep me staying up, and leads me towards peace.

I'm tired of wandering around in this labyrint. Meeting walls after walls. Blind gates after blind gates. And so goes on... I'm so tired of it. And I'm still searching for my guardian Angel who can lead me.

I know it's much to ask about. I know im hard to handle.  I know I can make some stupid choices. But if I at least have the guardian Angel who will lead me, I'm on a good way.

I'm maybe 18 years on the paper. But in my head,  I'm still a little kid who needs help and protection.

Even the best can hide the biggest scars

Even the best can hide the biggest fears and the biggest scars behind their smile. Even the best can be gone in the ocean of tears, or get lost in the biggest forest of lies. Even the best can have bad days.

It don't matter if you look at yourself as the best or the worst. We are all stuck in he same world, with the same rules and the same gameboard. The difference is our games. We play different games.

You can't always tell if someone is playing the hard or the easy game. Many are good at hiding things. Hiding their own gamecards from the world outside... And themself. I'm one of them. You can't tell wether i'm playing the good or the bad game. Even my closest friends can't tell, even though they think they know.

My game is a big jungle of ups and downs. I can't always choose which way I wanna take. Somethimes the game just gives me a way, and I have to deal with i.
How i deal with it, is one of my secrets. One of my hidden sides.

Because just like the best, I can also hide the biggest scars.

I knew it was just a dream..

Everything was perfect. Nothing in the world could ruin my world with him. Nothing could go wrong, because it all was perfect <3 

It was the first time ever I've had a wonderful time like that for so long. I was happy every second of the day. It was amazing <3 it felt like the perfect life when all I had to think of was me and him and our happy relationship <3 

I'm not used to living a dream like that. Having days when I only was with him, and never had to think about going back to my family. That's how I want things to be. I just wanna be with him and my friends and have fun like that.

But with my "luck" , of corse it had to end. Of course something had to happen that ruined everything. I had to go home.. And suddenly my family didn't like him anymore.. They meant he was bad for me, that I changed to be some total idiot because of him.

Everything bad about me. Every single little attitude problem I had was his fault ... Or at least, that was what my family said..

But I know better! I know I have some problems, and that my attitude aren't always the best.. But It's not his fault! I promise! I've always had those problems, but as I've grown older, I'm not afraid to show it, and I'm not afraid to tell exactly what I mean. And now they think that's his fault, because listen to me, that's not something they can do...

And i hate the way everything is now.. I feel alone all the time. I feel I need to hide every emotion I have , because I'm home... And I'm always afraid that I will do something they don't like so they will get angry...

So all I do now.. Is sit around and wait... 

And damn I hate it.. I just wanna be with him.. But it's just getting harder and harder.. But I will never give up the hope for a perfect life with him, no matter what ! Because I love him more than everything else in my life <3 

My own little world, where only one person can find me

Sometimes, I could just fly away into my own little world where everything can happen, and of course, everything is perfect. It's like my own little unbreakable bubble, no one can break it, because no one can see it. Because iv'e hidden it innside my head. Deep innside my head, and my soul. Deep innside where no one else than me can reach. And when i'm gone in that cute perfect world, no one can reach me either. Because no one can find my world.

Well, to say that no one can reach me when i'm in my own world, that's not true. There is one person who can reach me there. One person that can see my world, see how deep innside me it's hidden. One person.
And that one and only, is my boyfriend. And why can he see a place that's hidden so deep innside me? Well, it's because every time i escape to that place, he escape with me. Maybe he don't know it. But i know that every time i need to run away from everything and just feel safe, he is in my world. In my heart, and keeping me safe.

No matter how deep shit i'm sitting in, and how hopeless and stupid everything feels, i know i can just run away into my own world. Wonderful, right? Just to have that little place no one can fuck up things for me, it's amazing. And of course, the little thing who makes it all complete, makes it totally perfect, my beautiful boyfriend <3

I like how i can make it feel like he is close to me, even though where far away from each other. Because in my heart and soul, where always together, as close as we can get.
I love my boyfriend so much. He is everything for me <3 As long as i got him, my life is complete <3 My dreams are complete the secound he shows up in them. And my soul is complete, as soon as he takes the place as my better half.

He completes everything for me <3 And that's what i would call a perfect relationship with the perfect boy <3 Nothing can ever come between us. Nothing in the world could take away the feelings we have for each other <3 That's what i would call true love <3

I love you my perfect boyfriend <3 You and me, now and forever, no matter what <3

The times life fucks us

You know the times life fucks you?
Well, they will keep on coming.
You can't stop it.
You can't ignore it.,
All you can do, is fuck it back..
Just remember, someone will always hate you for doing just that.
Fuck life when life fucks you.