The night seem so long, when I don't want to sleep. When sleep don't seem right. Just because i got so many thoughts innside my head that don't seem to shut down..
I'm scared. I don't want to loose you because you don't like that i'm addicted to being with you. I'm so sorry i am like that. But there just ain't anything i can do about it. It feel safe having you around me. It make me feel worth something when you smile to me and say you love me.
It's a special feeling when you tell me i'm pretty, even without my make up and my hair totally messed up. It's like .. Well i don't got any words for it. But it makes me feel loved and pretty. Even though i hate the way i look without make up, it helps me accept the way I look.
But still i'm afraid that you'll get tired of me. I know it's not easy for you, always having time to be with me. Cuz you have lots of friends. Friends you use to be with and like being with. Even though your friends don't want me to be there when your with them. I don't know why they don't want me there.. I have no idea if there is something i've said or something i've done. I just know that i'm not feeling welcome when your with friends.
I'm happy for you. Happy that you got friends to be with. It got to be nice to know you always have them there. (Even though you know it's hard for me to accept it sometimes because of some small things..)
Yeah, it got to be nice having friends the way you got. I wish i know how it feels like.
I don't have that many to be with when your not here. I don't know what to do when your sitting somewhere else, having fun with friends and i'm sitting home alone, knowing that i'm not welcome where u are.
When your gone, no one in the world can fill the empty space after you. That's just not possible, no matter what. Because when you leave, you take one half of me with you. Your taking my soul and my heart. I know you'll keep it safe, of course, because you've told me you love me. But still. I'm missing something when your not here. And that something is you. Nothing or no one can fill that space, no matter what. I'll promise.
I could probably wrote so much about this right now. But i'm just not in the mood for crying. Not at all. So i'll just stop here and hope i can explain it to you later..
